纪念 . 失眠

看了小时代2和3，我终于明白为何这部电影这么受欢迎了，它记录了我们的青涩岁月，我们的人生或多或少都反映在了剧情里。

也许是因为失眠，所以特别有感触吧。上一次失眠，应该是三年前发生的那件事那个人吧。而这一次，是因为自己，总是学不会如何爱的自己。

这一次，我会失眠多久？

在小时代3，周崇光假死，林萧颓废得失去自己时，南湘和林萧的对话

南湘：林萧，哭出来吧，哭出来就会好的。一切都会过去，没事的。会有更爱你的人。

林萧：不会有了，再也不会有了。

看到这一段，我的泪水终于，决堤。也许我看的已经不是电影，而是，另一个失去爱的自己。

费了好大的力气，林萧终于重新站起来的感悟

时间的齿轮，从未停止转动。它用一种最冷酷理智的方式，让每个生命，得以平行前进。

时间，终究会让人麻木，让人清醒，让人放下过往，或者假装遗忘。

这一次，我还会需要多少时间才能遗忘？或者说假装遗忘？

在小时代2的结局里，周崇光说，

‘我相信这个世界上一定会有个你爱的人，他会穿越这个世间汹涌的人群，一一地走过他们，怀着一颗用力跳动的心脏，捧着满腔的热和沉甸甸地的爱，走向你，抓紧你。他一定会找到你的，你要等。’

我很执着，打不开我内心，走不进我心里的我不要。

我会等，但是，你会来吗？

疗愈~2

选择在这样的雨天疗愈自己，就让雨声掩盖内心的声音，而我选择听而不闻。

此刻，我好想好好哭一场。

但我只能对自己说，

撑着，别哭。

那一天，我选择离开了我的医生，只有自己。我不想借助外人来帮我放下，这对他人不公平。毕竟那是我自己的事，只能自己解决。而身边的人，常以不同身份出现，更多的是导师，循循善诱的要我放下过往。

曾经，我希望我和你之间的关系不再是病人和医生。我不希望把自己的不开心加注在你身上，因为我希望你也快乐。
当身边的人被赋予一个身份，那份情感就变得不再纯粹了，它有了一定的框架，限制了延伸的可能。人与人之间的相处本来就不该设限，不该有一定的身份。

身份的切换其实无时无刻都在不断的发生，最美好的身份是无形的，你知道那个人一直都在，无论是以什么身份。

而那个人，

也许只是我自己，

没有别人。

原来

每个人都有每个人的生活，没有谁必定要出现在你生活当中。可是就这么一次，我希望你出现了，就不要离开。好吗？

原来，你一直都没发现，我眼中的你。

这样的我，你爱得起吗？

其实连我自己也不是很懂自己，这样一个连自己也不懂的女孩，还有谁会懂呢？

没有安全感，害怕失去，害怕不在乎，害怕背叛，不能接受欺骗。讨厌隐瞒，讨厌暧昧，讨厌所有不清不楚的关系。可是这些所有的害怕与讨厌，全都被埋藏在心里，只剩下阳光与自信展现在众人眼前。带着坚强的自己活在人群中，不想受过的伤遭到众人的议论，于是选择沉默不说。

我不会拒绝，也不懂得绝情，表面看似无所谓其实心里已经难受得要死。

如果我愿意把最真实的心情展现在你面前，那你应该知道，你对我而言是很重要的，因为我的情绪从不轻易示人。如果你能看穿我静默之下的那一缕哀伤，如果你能读懂我忽冷忽热下的那一丝不安全感，你能不能不要告诉别人？

如果你愿意在了解了这样的我之后陪着我一起走下去，可不可以请你来了之后不要离开？掏心掏肺的爱上一个人，却独自一人被抛离在原地，目送他向前走，我再也没有这样的复原能力了。

Don't leave me here alone

Who'll said
"I'll never let you go"
when all those shadows almost kill my light?

Who'll remember that I said
"Don't leave me here alone"?

And who'll walk the promise?

疗愈～1

如果说时间是最好的解药，我想我的药早已过期，才会一直不见疗效。很多人说，慢慢的总会过去，是的，它早已成为过去。就算它已成为过去，但还是留下了后遗症。

我可以把所有的回忆忘得干净，毕竟我本来就不是一个记性好的人。可是，那后遗症的威力却如海啸般一波接一波，我无力阻止。

我可以忘了你的忽冷忽热，却在我心里留下了不安全感
我可以忘了你给我的距离感，却在我心里留下了空虚
我可以忘了你的偶尔脱离，却在我心里留下了与世界隔离的一道墙

我好不容易放飞了所有的回忆，现在能做的只有好好善待那个好久不见的自己。

给自己5个疗程的时间，我会把自己疗愈。

生活

你知道生活不会事事迁就你

你知道生活不会事事满足你

你知道生活不会事事顺应你

但是那又有什么关系呢？每一件事的开始与结束，都有它自己的原因。

开始了，好好珍惜

结束了，好好放手

无需勉强，无需纠缠

无论你愿意与否，生活总是以它自己的步伐，不断地往前移动。你阻止不了，也改变不了。唯一能做的，只有顺应着它的速度，调整自己的步伐，慢慢地往前移动。

Escape in Krabi

渴望着那一个可以看穿我内心的人。我本来就不轻易说出心事，很多的情绪也都深埋心中，我只希望未来的那个你不要为此而退缩。我渴望你的了解，渴望你的陪伴，渴望你眼里的心疼。大家都说这样的要求很高，但是唯有遇见了这样的人，我才能做我自己，我才是最好的我自己。我深信会有这样的一个人，让我以最好的姿态绽放。我把最好的自己留给你，未来的你。

我把最后的回忆留在了甲米，随风而逝。把完整的自己带了回来，希望那会是全新的自己！

First Day in Saigon

The most things I can see along the trip is their motorcycles, when u walk along the street, u can see a lot of motorcycles, that is their main vehicles on the road. This is a developing country, as they are having their first MRT soon!

 This is the first meal that we had in Vietnam, their famous Pho, I choose chicken flavor.

Art work while waiting for the food.
 

Mr.Ho Chi Minh with Vietnam flag

 

 

Reunion Palace

 

 

The Notre Dame Cathedral

 

 



 

The General Post Office

 

 



 

City Hall





War Remnant Museum
 

 



Finally, the day end with water puppet show.

Cambodia

I went to Cambodia in the middle of this month, it’s really a under-developed nation. The people there live in wooden house, and they use well water for their daily life, as well as their drinking water and they don’t have electricity supplements. Besides some developed country such as Siem Reap and Phnom Penh. One is developed because of historic site and another one is capital of the nation.

After visit the place, I felt glad to be a Malaysian. I believe that people who had been visit to the country will feel the same with me. Except the main road in the city had been covered by tar, they don’t have any proper road in other village. When the cars pass by, the dust can be seen in everywhere.

Children of Cambodia

The monk

This is the market in Phnom Penh. The little girl and her father.

This is the spider that we eat. Taste like egg yolk.

This is the girl who sold lotus on the way that we headed to Pnom Penh. She can speak chinese and english well. What a brilliant girl she is!

  

Think before you say

Normally we didn’t think so much when we talk with our closer friends, but are they really don’t mind if we tease them like usual? What if they just bear it in mind for the previous time u tease them? It is hardly to guess what people think about when we talk about them. Talking with friend is a kind of art, we should know what to say and the way to say so that we won’t hurt the person indirectly.

I was talking to my friend the previous day, she said that she felt hurt when one of our friend tease her about her posture in taking photo. The problem is, this friend is a happy go lucky person, she never care about what people say about her, but this time she felt annoyed as she has been teased by this friend many time. She sms the girl and ask her not to tease her any more, because she felt uneasy for it.

The following is our conversation,

B : you know?i quarrel with your roommate through sms today…

Me: Huh?why you quarrel with her?

B : She always comment about me on my posture of taking photo,but this time I felt really uneasy so I talk to her through sms, so we now in “cold war”…

Me: you know her way isn’t? she always talk like that, you just regard it as a joke,then never mind lo…I always “kena” also, but I am fine with it too…

B : I just feel not happy when I see her, so these few days I won’t talk to her…

Me : I think is good for you two, need time to cool down…but no matter what happened, both of you are still my friends.

As the result, both of them haven’t talking to each other yet…I hope they can recover as previous time soon…I hope for that day..

Our Glorious Malaysia(Malaysiaku Gemilang)

I have been to Putrajaya from 23 August to 1 September for the celebration of Malaysia's 50th independence celebration.We have been training from morning through night these few day...These are a few photos that we taken during national day...

What a silly post??

How about this two pictures?^^

preparation for night perfomance

Take a photo during dinner time. It is quite rush, we have only an hour rest time, after taking our diner, we had only about 20 minutes to rest...

We met three reporters from Singapore...friendly reporters...

It's going to start soon...

Fifth Moon 5

BAK ZANG

Today is Fifth Moon 5 festival,this festival also known as Tuen Ng festival where people eat rice and meat dumplings wrapped in bamboo leaves on the day. This is to commemorate the death of a popular Chinese national hero, Qu Yuan. He drowned himself in Mi Lo River to against the corrupt rulers. In the legend, the town people beat drums to scare the fish away and threw dumplings into the sea to keep the fish from eating his body.I love this festival,because i can enjoy my favourite bak zang from an auntie who take care of me since i was 2 or 3 years old.I like the flavour of bak zang that she made,it's not very delicious but it has the smell of my childhood,it is memorable...

These are the materials for dumplings.They are sticky rice,pork,chestnut,and mushrooms.You can add on some others materials such as red beans according to your favourite.


Put all the materials in the bamboo leaves that had been wash earlier,then tie it tightly with the rope that made from banana's leaves so that it won't untie when you cook it.

Put the dumplings in the boiler and cook for half and hour.

After that you can take the dumplings and enjoy it.

COFFEE

Have you seen the Nescafe's advertisement? The advertisement start in a morning, the character feels relief after having a cup of Nescafe. Coffee is the first things that they want in the morning , a cup of good coffee will start brand new day.

How to make a cup of good coffee that helps you starts a better day? First, it is important for you to follow the instructions outlined with your coffee maker or espresso machine. Measure the water and coffee according to the numbers of cups you want to make. Another tip is, coffee always tastes best when it is fresh made.

I have also read that adding just a pinch of salt to the coffee grounds will actually enhance the coffee flavor, this method is supposed to take out the bitterness out of your coffee. The type of coffee bean you choose is very important too, different type of coffee bean give your tongue different taste. Lastly, remember to clean your coffee machine after use it and this will give you a better taste coffee.




Coffee maker







coffee beans

The truth of coffee beans

LOVE coffee

coffee child??

Take a look at the different types of coffee that you can order in a coffee house

LATTE

Espresso with steamed milk and in some shops, a small cap of foam. It has less foam than a cappuccino.

MOCHA

A flavoring made of coffee mixed with chocolate

ESPRESSO

A shot of espresso with the remainder being 50% steamed milk and 50% milk foam/froth

ESPRESSO GRANITA

Frozen espresso, crushed and served in a parfait glass topped with whipped cream.

ESPRESSO ROMANO

Espresso with a slice of lemon on the side

Outdoor Education (PPL)

Last month , I went for my PPL(Program Pendidikan Luar) which located in Teluk Batik,Lumut,Perak. It's a 4 days and 3 night activity. During the days, we have done a lot of activities, we have done canoeing on the second day, and abseiling on the third day. We also had walk around Pangkor Island and discovered the historical places in the island which include Kota Belanda and Batu Bersurat. It's a great experience for us, we cook ourselves, we tried all the thing tat we wouldn't do in our daily life, we bath in the sea, and we drank sea water (do u believe it?hehe). I will have my BIG (bina insan guru) next year in Langkawi, and I hope for it…

This is the largest jelly fish i had seen in my life...

First day we reached there and this is the first picture taken with my buddies at there...